Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
