Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
