her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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