i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
