did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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