How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
