her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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