youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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