is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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