PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize