the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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