i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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