What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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