That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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