I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This is the prime rib incident all over again
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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