ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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