I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
