It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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