What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
