This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
