I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
