Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
