A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I didn't shave. On purpose
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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