i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
