I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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