Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
