sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I need water and some morals
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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