Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize