i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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