I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize