I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
