I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
