so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
