so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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