Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
