It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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