and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
