i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
