So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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