I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just puked most of my soul out..
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