you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
