you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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