god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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