I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
