I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
a search helicopter?!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
