i just google imaged poop.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
