i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
