she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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