if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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