Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
