I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
