I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
