I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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