mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
