I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
