Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You are a genius and a whore.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
