Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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