i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
