i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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