Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
