I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
